Feedback for Thursday, 3/24/2026

Will's “First Aid”

What worked: 

One thing that made this story remarkably satisfying to finish was the foreshadowing; the key line being “He always said the way he’d take care of us was praying, ‘it can fight off any enemy’” (p. 2). When Ethan recognizes a Bible verse from his grandpa’s favorite channel, all the confusion from his miraculous escape makes sense, and secures his grandpa’s spiritual faith in their safety. Because his family is so important to him, nearly losing his brother (and his grandpa if he and his brother died) was a terrifying risk, so the fact that this verse connects him back family is both a grounding and relieving surprise.

Recommendations:

Since there was a lot of information given about the dynamic between the two brothers, tying their relationship into the closure of the story would have brought it back into focus again. Other than the religious commitment, the other significant element of Ethan’s identity was his competition with Nathan. Therefore, a small interaction between them back in—perhaps a conversation about their grandpa—could reintroduce what was set up about their competition in the beginning. 

Noah’s “Blossoms on the Setting Sun”

What worked: 

In this story, I admire the use of dialogue and tone. These character’s language exposes their intentions and goals, reflects their own cultures, and creates conflict between characters. With the amount of historical context, their speech discloses information in an enjoyably engaging way that supplements the storytelling style. I especially like the metaphorical language characters use to make a point with each other. For example, “The soul of a three-year-old lasts until one hundred” (p. 3) is both insightful but offensive, which I find amusing. There are many instances where dialogue brings out their personalities, which is effective in a story that’s heavy on cultural or environmental descriptions.

Recommendations:

With there being a lot of character descriptions, I do think the plot gets lost at times. However, that’s not an extreme concern, as it’s not difficult to understand why events occur after reviewing the story. But to keep the plot more apparent, I think adding in more conversations regarding upcoming scenes would help.

Lainey’s “Cigarettes”

What worked: 

I like the implied meaning in the actions of the main character instead of clear scenes of her past. For example, throughout the story, there is a transition from the cigarette as a symbol of relief or calmness to a reminder of loss and the weight of nostalgia. There is also a repetition of dissatisfaction with things that should improve her mood, such as eating take out. Using this faint imagery instead of clear descriptions of events makes this environment more psychologically realistic. It enables readers to live alongside the narrator’s mentality of avoiding memories with indirect actions as she’s forced to agonize over her previous life.

Recommendations:

Due to its strong plot arc, I think this story works well as a springboard for characters with more specific personalities. If you ever wanted to extend or build on top of it, I think that including more about what else the character misses about her prior relationship on top of the cigarette motif would be effective. Rather than details that would distract the readers from it, I think hinting at specific regrets would enhance the meaning behind the cigarette.